Thursday, September 8, 2011

wake me up when September ends

"A southern girl with a scarlet drawl. I wave goodbye to Ma and Pa 'cause with the birds I'll share this lonely view. Soft spoken with a broken jaw. Step outside, but not to brawl. Yeah, autumn's sweet. We call it 'fall.' I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl. Scar tissue that I wish you saw, sarcastic, Mr. Know It All." -Red Hot Chili Peppers, Scar Tissue

I spent a decent amount of time the other day dedicated to reading basically all I could get my bear paws on regarding varying strategies, methods, myths and everything out there on the LSAT. I don't know how many readers I have out there that are interesting in taking the LSAT, but let me just tell you a few things about it.
It's a beast. Actually, that's more or less all you really need to know.
I was reading a suggested time-line for studying and under the "one month til test date" link, I read a statement that said something along the lines of this: It's time to crack down. Get serious. Put your social life on hold. Do you think that the highest scorers were caught up on the most recent episodes of Teen Mom? Yeah, right. Put everything else on the back burner and focus exclusively on the LSAT. 
Alright. The LSAT is a gigantic percentage of my stress and my life right now. No doubt about it. That pesky little three digit number will almost solely determine where I am enrolled in law school a year from now. But, put the rest of my life on HOLD for the next 25 days and do nothing except eat, sleep and breathe the LSAT? Seriously??
What about my friends that I am leaving when I flee this country?
What about the few shows I love indulging in- Dance Moms, my new obsession?
What about reading the news, reading books?
What about working on my personal statement, recruiting recommenders, researching schools, requesting information from potential schools and gaging which schools in which countries have the programs I am interested in?
What about working on the house repairs, basic cleaning maintenance and other daily chores that demand time?
What about the fancy gym membership and training I am paying a pretty penny for?
What about running errands like a chicken with my head cut off getting ready to move to Spain?
What about journaling, blogging, Facebook-ing, Pinterest?
What about calls to friends to check in, for them to check in on me and to unwind and laugh together?
WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF MY TO-DO LIST?!
I'm not really up for putting ALL of those things on the back burner.
I didn't realize just exactly how much I juggle, how closely I keep my schedule. And how incredibly poor I am at asking for help when I really could use some.
Yet, simultaneously for the exact sentence I just wrote, I AM ready to say "see ya" to all those other responsibilities. Because this is what I want and I'll do whatever it takes to get there. So some sacrifices have been and are going to be made. Time to get serious. Focus in. So, for the last week, I have been really LSAT-intense. I have been so LSAT-intense actually that I dreamt about it on the two days I didn't study very much because I was in the great city of Tuscaloosa.
Can you imagine if we just wore our "scars" like they do in the music video for the 90's classic, Scar Tissue? If you didn't have to read someone's status, tweet or blog in order to learn what's actually going through their mind? Thank goodness we don't, or we couldn't afford to stand in line at Kroger and say, "hey, how are you" all nonchalantly confident that the response will assuredly be, "I'm fine, thanks, how are you?" even though, you could care LESS about how that woman is. But sometimes, don't you wish you were a little better at boldly saying, "hey, help me out here." or "hey, this is what i've got going on and i need you." i'm an expert at the being needed part (see my above list) but i really suck at being NEEDY. which I am. Because I am human.
I've been wanting to include Scar Tissue in a post for several months since I read the book. I'd highly recommend it. And I'm really looking forward to listening to their new album. Whoohoo.

Ugh, and did I mention its September, my second least favorite month of the year? At least it's starting to cool down outside.I feel like I am running a sprint marathon STRAIGHT uphill. 
One thing at a time.
Breathe. LSAT. Breathe. Repeat. Got it.

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