mirror, mirror on the wall...

should a-/ would a-/ could a....
in light of seeing 'Arry PoTTer, I'd like to request some magic. Yes. I WOULD like a crystal ball. and i WOULD like to pick up a journal that I so religiously recorded thoughts, drama, events, feelings, tears, frustrations, love, emotions and other randomness that I simply needed to see on paper in order to breathe, sleep and function and be able to hold it and magically flip to the page I am in need of reading OR, better yet, read pages that have not yet been written. Hermione, GET ON IT. You and your cute little British accent, figure it out. I picked up a journal from the summer off the shelf and read nothing that made me feel better, just things that made me feel worse. Funny The Way It Is. Since I saw Parachute live, this one particular line has been unbelievably glued to my soul from The Mess I Made, "i SHOULD have proudly claimed that all my head's to blame for all my heart's mistakes." I have no regrets, though, right? Isn't that what we always tell ourselves to make those "should a/would a/could a" thoughts to go away?
If anyone knows where to place the order for a crystal ball, that would be great. Then again if I were a King, if I had everything, if I had you and I could give you your dreams, if I were giant sized, on top of it all, then tell me what in the world would I go on for? If I had it all? Sometimes I feel lost, as a I pull you out like strings of memories wish I could weave them into you then I could figure the whole damn puzzle out. Then again... if I had it all, you know, I'd fuck it up.

Requesting some enlightenment, COULD I have been anyone other than me? Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I work it out. I am WHO i AM, WHO am I??
What's the use in worrying? What's the use in hurrying...?


What's wrong with a Friday night staying in with a glass of wine, my to-do list and my six pound dog? This. Contemplation. But, lots of good music to back it all up. 
Alright unwritten unknown that lies ahead, I am one step closer. And I am excited to see what is coming next regardless of what is behind and what I am carrying with me on that journey, even if I don't know who or what that is just yet. Crystal-schmystal.


Words in blue are song titles I strongly recommend you looking into and italics are lyrics themselves.