Wednesday, March 30, 2011

any, many, miny, mo, catch a tiger by the toe

decisions, decisions, decisions... all lead somewhere.

Monday, March 28, 2011

puts the image of God back together

This just made me so happy. Read on here.

This is a tough subject for me. Its something that comes up often in my life that I don't do as good of explaining my personal reasoning behind and I don't utilize opportunities to talk about my conviction and my personal decisions in this area nearly as often as I should. But should they be brought up, I try not to be shy, I try to give clear and distinct reasoning for why I have chosen to wait. I am 22, and trust me, waiting has not been an easy task. And there is not just one reason. There are many at this point in no particular order or importance. It's something I am sticking to. And perhaps I should broadcast it more often, or I shouldn't broadcast it at all. But for someone who has made a stupid "true love waits" commitment in seventh grade with hundreds of other people who have since changed their mind, I am proud of myself for still hanging in there. It doesn't take much to be affirmed and that blogpost did that for me today. Awesome.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

it may be too late for that

no, i'm not the man i use to be lately. 
you see, you met me at an interesting time.
and if my past is any sign of your future, you should be warned before i let you inside. 
hold on to whatever you find, baby.
hold on to whatever will get you through.
i don't trust myself with loving you
i will beg my way into your garden, then i'll break my way out when it rains. just to get back to the place where i started. so i can want you back all over again.
who do you love? me, or the thought of me?
(watch it, he is SO sexy)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

no place in mind, we shall arrive

Today, one of my professors said to a large group of seniors and freshman, "Don't worry about where you're going, because you don't even know." I thought to myself, wow, that's really inspirational. Then I thought, wait a minute. That scares the SHIT out of me. So I dont know where i am going. But that's okay. Because, with no where in mind, we shall arrive. and look up Joey Ryan because he is great. I'm convicted that from my small corner of the world I should shamelessly promote singer songwriters that deserve the spotlight. 

i left you to your own devices with failures weighing on your mind.
like a seed denied the water needed, you're wilted now, all but defeated.
worry not you told me, but i've seen unfold this story. 
strong and steady be your will, leaves your battered body cold and still. 
and i know, you know you need me now. my hand is soft and strong held out for yours to grasp it firm and scream you'll never let it go.
up the asphalt, back in time, no place in mind, we shall arrive.
its better to be on your way than sit and stay and melt away.
and i know, you know you need me now. 
my hand is soft and strong held out for yours to grasp it firm and scream that you'll never let it go. 
listen, i know you know that all along you're scared to hit the end head on.
 so place your weary hand in mine and don't you ever let it go.
cause even as your path may wind, keep me always on your mind.
open ward your heart to me, be not the door that has no key. 
make it good your chance at life, no where in mind, we shall arrive.
-Joey Ryan, We Shall Arrive
To the next person that asks, this is my public proclamation and warning, "What are you doing after graduation?" you WILL be slapped. so just, don't ask. i get very cranky almost instantaneously at such questions. and i might respond with, "i'm sorry, did you plan to be overweight and working at the student health center that is a complete joke of a medical facility at Alabama when you were 22? oh, you didn't? so, how the hell should I know?" thanks. 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

all that remains is a place where you no longer are, this is goodbye

"I've been searching deep down in my soul, words that I'm hearing are starting to get old. Feels like I'm starting all over again. The last three years were just pretend and I said, goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything I thought I knew. It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine." -Michelle Branch 
has it really been 20 days since i last posted?? wow.
today, i am stuck on a word. just one word. goodbye.
there is a song written by greg laswell that I have not been able to stop playing, it's soothing and its lyrics are captivating and somehow, it hasn't been applicable until today. this post is going to be ALL over the place so take from it the piece you find that you can relate to and take the rest as my rambling. with goodbye typed into itunes so Greg Laswell's Goodbye could play on repeat, I heard other favorites and I started really thinking, hence inspiring the rest of my hectic world to stop spinning long enough for deep thought and posting.
i've always thought the best medicine for almost any situation was speaking your mind and throwing out your opinion. being told you're wrong is healthy because sometimes you simply are. but there is a lot to be said between the different shades of "goodbye." as i've referenced in previous posts, i have chastised myself for being overly forgiving and for my inability to give up on people. this is a rough combo and though good character traits, perhaps aren't the smartest, safest or best for a number of reasons. so today is about saying goodbye. goodbye to some dreams that i cannot accomplish overnight, to some goals that are unrealistic. to a class that i didn't need to take. to an old self that would have handled herself differently. goodbye to my "say goodbye" attitude inspired by Dave Matthews that has protected me for two solid years.
goodbye is in order for some items on my mental lists meaning a complete disappearance where only faint traces can be found later. goodbye, synonymous with goodbye for good. permanent. closure. letting go.
goodbye is in order for other words written on this mental list that indicates a change. like a goodbye to that, and hello to its new form. a better, refreshed, renewed version.
there is a goodbye that is meaningless, carrying no weight which is only uttered out loud because its a habit. "love to have you with me, almost all the time. life just isnt like that, at least not mine. there's no need for hello, there's little reason for goodbye. never need to miss you 'cause you're always on my mind." - Shannon McNally
and goodbye is the exact opposite of other importance things i have going on, exciting things that i'm saying hello to. hello to open mindedness, hello to the unknown and to making the most of each second. hello to familiar faces sprinkled across my path on campus. hello to old friends i cherish time with. hello to opportunities. hello to trying on a cap and gown. hello self-control and will power. hello irony. Hey baby, hey baby hey.
Hey girl, come with me and let yourself go.

"You don't need to change a thing about you babe. I'm telling you, from where I sit, you're one of a kind. Relationships I don't know why, they never work out and they make you cry but the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind. I've been lost and I need direction, I could use a little love protection. What do you say, honey, come to my defense. I stand up for you if its what you need. I got deep desire and it needs quenching, I think that's pretty plain for you to see." -Griffin House

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

so let the wind blow us to wherever it says we are suppose to go

Quito, Ecuador
Bocas del Toro, Panama
Cozumel, Mexico
Lagos, Portugal
Chefchaouen, Morocco

Travel is an intensified feeling—maximum thrills per minute and one of the last great sources of legal adventure. Travel is freedom. It’s recess and we need it… Connecting with people carbonates your experience. Extroverts have more fun. If your trip is low on magic moments, kick yourself and make things happen. If you don’t enjoy a place, maybe you don’t know enough about it.  Seek the truth. Recognize tourist traps. Give the culture the benefit of your open mind. See things as different, but not better or worse. Any culture has plenty to share. Of course, travel, like the world, is a series of hills and valleys. Be fanatically positive and militantly optimistic. If something’s not to your liking, change your liking. Travel can make you a happier American, as well as a citizen of the world. Our Earth is home to six and a half billion equally precious people. It’s humbling to travel and find that other people don’t have the “American Dream”—they have their own dreams. Europeans like us, but with all due respect, they wouldn’t trade passports. Thoughtful travel engages us with the world. In tough economic times, it reminds us what is truly important. By broadening perspectives, travel teaches new ways to measure quality of life. Globetrotting destroys ethnocentricity, helping us understand and appreciate other cultures. Rather than fear the diversity on this planet, celebrate it. Among your most prized souvenirs will be the strands of different cultures you choose to knit into your own character. The world is a cultural yarn shop, and Back Door travelers are weaving the tapestry. Join in! –Rick Steves, Europe Through the Back Door

Kiev, Ukraine
Venice, Italy

Bavaria, Germany (Neuschwanstein)
Innsbruck, Austria
Zurich, Switzerland
Toledo, Spain

"I wait for something under a streetlight. It won't be long because it's dark, it's cold, it's one of those nights where something out there keeps me alive. But I don't know where to go. So I think I'll sit and stay here a while til I figure it out. So, let the wind blow us to wherever it says we are suppose to go. 
When you WANT something but can't name it.. it's something you've never seen before- OPEN THE DOOR! It's something you've always been afraid of.. and now all you want is more." -Joshua Radin

"With every sun that sets, I am feeling more like a stranger on a foreign shore with an eroding beach disappearing from underneath. 'Cause I'm a man that hides from all that binds in a mess of fading lines. I always fall in love with an open door with a horizon on an endless shore as I look around at the ones standing right in front of me. And then my mirror speaks with irreverence like a soldier I can't command that sees a frightened child in the body of a full grown man." -Death Cab For Cutie