have you got it in you?

it's hump day. i've had a tremendously frustrating week. it feels like "tides that i tried to swim against have put me down upon my knees, oh i beg, i beg and plead. singing, come out of things unsaid..." is the perfect line to describe my emotions. but i just decided that i'm going to get over this hump. i am going to triumph. in the following ways, i have resolved to succumb to change for the rest of the week. these are my 10 theses of sorts for not just this week, but for the next few weeks. perhaps my self-proclaimations will strike you, something you needed to be reminded of also.

1. one asshole (student or elsewhere) will not ruin my mood or allow me to be phased for more than precisely 60 seconds. not a second longer.
2. i will maintain a fairly normal routine. no more staying up until 4 am, even if it is to finish an incredible book that i could not manage to pry from my own hands.
3. in no way will a list dictate my stress level. a list exists to do the opposite- manage and control the stress level. i will not be overwhelmed by the idea of a never-ending to-do list. the to-do list is ALWAYS never-ending and never will be "complete". this week's tasks are no different.
4. i will consistently breathe.
5. i will force myself to express frustration and emotions to friends to provide them with a window of opportunity that i have not thus far given them.
6. the tight rope hung between allowing an obstacle to challenge and inspire me versus overcome and consume me will be better balanced by combating it with optimism, sleep, a clear mind and with the help of others. i will seek to prove the phrase, "you can do anything you set your mind to." i will refuse to forget how far i have come and how much i have already accomplished.
7. no more rewarding myself with food. i am not a dog, after all. 
8. i will be more cognizant of my own expectations and aware when they are unrealistic. my mental timeline is imaginary. this includes my insatiable desire to predict the future. which, i repeat to myself, i am incapable of doing. i cannot predict the future. more importantly, nor would i want to.
9. since i am missing daily exercise, i will cave and purchase new tennis shoes. i will go running in the park just a few blocks away to clear my mind when i want to do so.
10. nothing of significance occurs overnight. i will remind myself of this more regularly. take one day at a time; certain things are only worth face value and others are worth nothing at all even when considered with a grain of salt.

"it takes a lot to be always on form. it takes A LOT.
i maybe not, all the time, all i've got. maybe not.
it's been one of those days.
safety first, don't push. what's the hurry?
'cause one nerve remaining... have you got it in you?
let me have it all, let me have a battle on.
have you got it in you?"
-Imogen Heap, Have You Got It In You?