and words are futile devices

you know, sometimes there just are not words. sometimes words can't accurately express thoughts or feelings or emotions. there are times when that emotion is overwhelming and language does not, cannot fill in the vast gap between what the heart is experiencing and what the mind is attempting to make sense of. usually, when these things happen i turn to music, lyrics, quotes and borrow advice from friends. i depend on dear friends understanding me well enough to where i can just exist and they can read my mind. clearly, that doesn't always work out. in the light of news about some pretty intense tragedies in the past few days, i am reminded of the immobile and helpless feeling of having no words. no words to miraculously fix the broken heart. words that sound so convincing even said with the greatest confident voice mustered: "it's going to work out somehow" but instantly implies a hesitant expression and underlying uncertainty for the ears receiving the platitude. for other friends, i am aware of the fear in the air and i do not have words that coalesce that fear. i just do not. for others, i have found that i do not have words to substantially thank or demonstrate my immense gratitude for all they do for me.
on a separate but related note, i have discovered this past week in particular that i do not possess the language skills to describe what i am feeling. that's really hard for me to do. credit to Sufjan Stevens for the blog title and for setting the mood for my reverie. if you're actually a dedicated reader and you looked up the video and listened to the whole song and are now reading into who i would say this song to, please pick up the phone and call me before making assumptions. but as with always, if i wasn't fully dedicated to the lyrics, the artist and the song, it wouldn't be in a post.
in place of my own words to respond to heartache and tragedy, i offer one of my favorite quotes ever:

"when there are no words... know that the silences are carrying the thoughts and prayers of all who love you." (dawn dais)

and in place of my own words to respond to fear (whatever that may be), this is what i offer. some inspiration. and truth.

You gain STRENGTH, COURAGE and CONFIDENCE by every experience in which you really stop to look FEAR in the face... DO the thing you think you CANNOT do. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

The next thing to do is take some advice from Peter Bradley Adams and gather up the people you love and embrace them. hold them in your arms. and together, figure it out.

gather up in the arms of your pity

the sick, the depraved, the desperate, the tired

all the scum of our weary city

gather up in the arms of your love

those who expect no love from above

I ask you this, which way to turn?

I ask you this, which sin to bear?

which crown to put upon my hair?

I do not know, I do not know...

I wait to take the hand of love, with every one you gather up

I wait to take the hand of love,

come every one, come gather up

there's lonely people in the lonely night

they grab a lonely dream and they hold it tight

there's lonely people in the lonely day

who work to solve their dream away 

so I ask you this, which way to turn?

I ask you this, which sin to bear?

which crown to put upon my hair?

I do not know, I do not know...

I wait to take the hand of love, with every one you gather up

I wait to take the hand of love,

come every one, come gather up

won't you gather in your arms, gather in your arms