breakdown, honey, take me through the night.

so for a personal test, i will be starting a blog series that will have titles that begin with each letter of the alphabet in succession starting with the last blog, this one being the second. the titles of my posts are important to me and demonstrate what i believe over all, to be one of the most critical themes of the entire post. we will see how this goes... but just consider yourself informed that's what i am doing. 

last night, i experienced an epic breakdown. a breakdown that defines that exact word. one little thought sent me completely over the edge. it was a meltdown of seismic proportions and it felt so good to finally get it all out. to actually FEEL and cry and scream. there is a quote circulating on Pinterest, that crying does not mean you are weak. since birth, it has been a signal that you are alive. just how true that statement really is came very clear to me last night. i am typically very strong and rarely find myself in emotionally compromising situations where my vulnerability is laid out on the table. but i do breakdown.
the breakdown itself isn't at all the point. it is what you do what the breakdown.
what you do when you realize that you aren't in control at all.
what you do when you realize that all the sudden the world is spinning faster than you can grasp.
you've got to make the best of what's around. you've got to let it all out. then, pick yourself up off the floor and FIGURE IT OUT. i am beyond words thankful for those who are there for me and i firmly believe that without them, i would be dead.
you can't always have this "things are fine and dandy" mask on. and with those who complete your life, you should be able to stare them straight in the face and tell them what's eating at you, what scares you, what's going through your mind, what you're proudest of and what you are thrilled about. i'm sick of the facade. so as Missy Higgins and Brett Dennon serenade me with their Tom Petty cover, "there aint no sense in pretending. something in your eyes gives you away. we've said all there is to say. baby, breakdown. go ahead, and give it to me. breakdown, i'm standing here can't you see? breakdown. it's alright."