journey

Source: muchlove-anna.blogspot.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

well, i knew what i didn't want to know
and i saw where i didn't want to go
so i took the path less traveled on
and i let my stories be whispered when I'm gone
when I'm gone
well in this life, you must find something to live for
'cause when the darkness comes a-callin' you go back to where you were before
'cause this life is as fragile as a dream
and nothing's ever really as it seems
as it seems
well i lost my innocence one day, when in i let him dive
but the way that he looked at me made me feel alive
and now i know nothing at all but the release that comes when you're in mid fall
in mid fall
in mid fall
cause in this life, you must find something to live for...
-Lily Kershaw, As It Seems

Sometimes, a song strikes me to the core no matter how many times I have heard it before. And its a clear visceral response that I can feel where my heart and mind simultaneously agree, "yes, thats it! thats exactly how we feel." I don't know if songs affect you that way, but lyrics are certainly one of my favorite languages when my own fails me. The past few weeks I have had so much on my mind, such weight on my shoulders while simultaneously traveling substantially. It's been a total roller coaster ride. At this point, these days are all about managing the highs and lows and ordering them to balance out. I have been thinking about the future of this blog and whether or not I will continue to maintain it. In September will be the blogs second anniversary. I am quite confident I will not have much time to dedicate to its postings next year while I have my nose buried in a book and selfishly, since I am unaware of who reads it if anyone, I cannot help but thinking my time will be better spent in the upcoming months dedicating time to my own journals and my travel blog (www.defineyourdestination.blogspot.com). That being said, if there is demand, there will be future posts and if there is no demand, this blog will probably be rarely updated. There is inspiration and ideas for great posts and not enough time or drive to see them through. This blog has been near and dear to my heart. It's posts contain raw thoughts and emotions with words direct heart strings and my opinion as precisely as I could have expressed it.

I hope that whatever reservations usually keep you from commenting, that if you were ever to leave a comment, it would be on this post. Otherwise, readers from wherever in the world that you are reading, it's been quite a journey. And journeys are one of my favorite things. It's certainly one hell of one I am on. And I wish you nothing but the best on yours.

With love,
Stephanie

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Source: colorolamente.tumblr.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

we can feel so far from so close

if life wasn't such a roller coaster of ups and downs, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the best moments. I hadn't realized how deep my rut was until I glanced up and saw the black cloud had been lifted and blue sky was there instead. this change in the weather was partially due to exciting news (I've been accepted to law school!) and mostly due to a visit from a great friend. I so badly needed to be reminded of who I am and she was there to do just that. so when you get so discouraged, you don't even recognize yourself in the mirror, just think that if you could see the BIG picture, the BIG plan that you may be closer than you realize. and in that moment, you may feel the furthest away but count on a good friend to tell you, "shut up. I can see this so clearly and you can too if you took the time to stop worrying or being self absorbed and actually LOOK." most likely, it won't come out quite like that but if you're actually listening, that may be what you hear. and it's most likely going to be the exact reminder you've been thirsty for.
just keep the seed in your mind that nothing in this world is permanent, not even our most wicked troubles.
and hold on. 
better yet, hold on with someone else. 


Listen to Mat Kearney's song that inspired the post, the title of the post and the entire album I have on repeat here.