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Do you know what my cure for hump day is? Well, usually, I barely survive Wednesdays, but today, it is this song and this video. It´s going to make your day. I promise. It´s just SO AWESOME.

I´ve got all sorts of things on my mind and I plan to get some serious blogging done this weekend, but for right now, all that´s playing in my head is this man. this man, dancin´and lovin´ life.

hell is so close and heaven's out of reach

cheers to a day when i didn't do anything i was suppose to get done. 

cheers to not thinking. 

cheers to a bottle of wine to drown lack of thinking and doing. 

to relaxing. 

to breathing. 

to figuring it out later. 

to the Crimson Tide.

to enjoying the moment. 

to being happy. 

to being thankful.

 to understanding that you don't understand. 

to adopting a lackadaisical attitude.

to grounding yourself by what you know beyond a doubt to be truth. 

to limiting yourself to 24 hours in one day because you have no other choice.

cheers to good music that soothes your soul. 

to experimenting with new words on your tongue for the first time. 

to having absolutely no idea what the future holds but swallowing that fact as something acceptable.

to 12 hours of sleep.

to a great dream.

to sharing a piece of yourself with someone new for the first time and discovering something about yourself as your share it. 

to adventures. 

to laughing. 

to falling in love all over again with a song you've already heard 118 times. 

to effective and pure communication. 

to reverie. 

to what-ifs. 

to brilliant ideas. 

to terrible ideas.

to not being sorry.

to an email that brightens my entire day.

to skype dates with dear friends. 

to dictating your own schedule. 

to doing something rewarding. 

to losing yourself in a book. 

to my list of daily blessings and gifts. 

to tomorrow being another day. 

tonight, on my ikea sofa-cama, i pour a third or fourth glass of wine to you.

"anywhere you go, anyone you meet, remember that your eyes can be your enemy.
i said, well, hell is so close and heaven's out of reach.
i ain't givin' up quite yet, i got too much to loose. 
hold me down, sweet and low, hold me down, and i'll carry you home.
the rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine.
the wind is gonna blow, the water's gonna rise.
she said, when that day comes, look into my eyes.
no one's giving up quite yet, we got too much to loose.
and i'll carry you, always.
you say youre fine but you're still young and out of line.
all i need is to turn around, to make it last, to make it count.
im not gonna make the same mistakes that put my momma in her grave, i don't wanna be alone...
hold me down, sweet and low, hold me down. sweet and low, little girl. so hold me down, and i'll carry you home."
-Sweet and Low, Augustana

who the hell did i think i was?

I have had this blog for exactly a year now and it seems that the labels can indicate the topics I always lean toward in this unique journey I have allowed you as readers to join me on. In the last year, I have mistakenly blogged about things too personal, I have hurt feelings, I have attempted to describe my own feelings, I have questioned, made judgements, expressed confusion and been unable to express words but still made messy attempts to do so. It's been a wild ride this last year, but then again, that is what life is, just a ride. 

The last few months, I haven't been able to write nearly as much as I would have liked, but I have made notes of future posts to come. Just know that even though I am not blogging on here as often, this blog has become important to me and I do not plan on deleting it or fully neglecting it anytime soon. 

It seems I have blogged the most about love, more than anything else. The other labels most often tagged are friendships, Dave Matthews, change, college life. For today's blog post, look up a label that suites you and find what I said this past year on it. 

"stranger than your sympathy, this is my apology...

when all my fears have pushed you out.

i wished for things that i don't need. all i wanted.

what i chase won't set me free. its all i wanted.

and i get scared, but i am not crawling on my knees.

oh yeah, everything's all wrong here.

where the hell did i think i was?

stranger than your sympathy, take these things so i don't feel...

now, my head's been filled with doubt.

it's hard to lead the life you choose.

you can't see when all your dreams are coming true... 

oh yeah, it's easy to forget, yeah. and you choke on the regrets.

who the hell did i think i was?

stranger than your sympathy, all these thoughts you stole from me.

i'm not sure where i belong.

no where's home and i'm all wrong.

i wasn't all the things that i tried to make believe i was, and i wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams i wanted, and all the talk, and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me... 

stranger than your sympathy, stranger than your sympathy..." -Goo Goo Dolls, Sympathy

A song that I've had on repeat all week. I am reading this incredible book and just trying to live up to the ambitious calls for a higher living she makes. Wow, I realize how greedy I have been with the dreams that I am chasing, realizing that some of the things I've wanted so badly are literally in my hands and I can't even be thankful for that.

You know when you have one of those days where you doubt every move you make and every decision that you've taken to get to this point? When you think, "wow, maybe I really fucked it up good this time." And then it seems like you blink, and your conscious is telling you, "It feels so good to know that I made the right decision." That voice in your head is telling you, "I listened to my heart and my mind bicker and I chose. I went for it. Good job! Sleep well tonight, Steph. Give yourself a pat on the back." this is a song for that exact moment when you hear them both, simultaneously. 

the moment when you look back on yesterday or the day before, or last week, or last year and wonder, WHO THE HELL DID I THINK I WAS?

When you say, this is my apology for making the decisions that I have in case they are wrong because I have no clue what I am doing even though I try so hard to pretend like I do. My apology that I am so far from perfect even though I want to be the best version of myself at all times, i fall so short. My apology that I have been so greedy with my blessings and dream chasing. That I'm not sure where I belong and that stranger than your sympathy is the endless reverie I am drowning in from my own mind. 

I get scared, but I am not crawling on my knees. 

If what I chase won't set me free, then why the hell is it something I am chasing?

young heart and i never wanna get old

personally, i don't blame Ponce de Leon for spending most of his life dedicated to finding the fountain of youth. I'm not quite sure what would happen if anyone ever did discover such a thing, though with medical technology and all our advances in research in the past several generations, we've certainly created ways to prolong life. Like the Pirates in the latest movie, I would certainly make some sacrifices to go in search of a way to find that fountain. Especially if I knew for a fact it existed. The thing is, I don't want to get old. I don't really want to go back in time either (remember?) but I'm just not so sure i'm ready for all the responsibility that I've got headed my way associated with growing old. Budgeting, paying all my own bills, worrying about insurance, the inability to do everyday things without experiencing some pain from arthritis or some additional ailment.... i don't want wrinkles or gray hair. i don't want diabetes or a heart attack at age 45. i don't want to really have to watch what i eat. ugh, the thought of my arms getting flabby makes me cringe. ooh and after a baby? forget it.
and we think we should be allowed to sit around and complain now. ha!
i was just talking the other day with a friend about how we always took for granted the ease of college. the days wasted doing absolutely nothing. now, if i have a day like that, i feel guilty because i recklessly abandoned so much responsibility.
the dermatologist asked me last week what am i doing right now to prevent wrinkles? uh, a healthy diet of white wine, organic food, occasional chic-fil-a and multiple double vodka sprites? i wash my face at night and in the shower? uh.... thankfully, there are anti-aging serum commercials, drugs you should immediately talk to your doctor about commercials every few minutes and a plethora of advertisements on the radio about laser-hair removal, plastic surgery and all that.
i'll take the wisdom that comes with age minus all of its bullshit.
do you think if i sit here long enough staring at Pinterest, I will miraculously be motivated to do anything?
maybe i'll go back to mindlessly watching tv and ignoring everything i should be doing until motivation literally hits me in the face. chances of that happening?
ugh, i know 0.
damn.
i just need some soul-resurecting on this monday afternoon. hopefully the gym, starbucks combination i have planned will do the trick.

"help me to forget about the lions chasing me.
if a man among us has the notion that he's free, i entreat you to the challenge, stand on up and let's see you get old.
the hardest part has always been to resurrect my soul.
you try and you try, but you can't try enough.
but you keep fighting, you keep on fighting me. you keep on fighting.
don't you know, you already won?
its summer in the city, we were hanging on the lawn, talking all the time about where the time had gone.
its not the way i thought it'd be, it's not what i was told.
i got a young heart and i don't want to get old.
old, old, i NEVER wanna get old. so i'm never gonna get old."
-Stephen Kellogg and The Sixers, Shady Esperanto and the Young Hearts

X that, let's do this instead

one of my new years resolutions (which i happen to take very seriously, unlike the average person. see here) last year was to be more spontaneous. i  succeeded in doing handful of spontaneous activities, but by no means did it transfer into a personality trait. as much as i love being organized, planned and scheduled, it's shocking how much i love being surprised. tonight, i had plans to get dinner with a few girlfriends from high school. in the five minutes i got on Twitter today, i happened to stumble across a tweet that The Weepies were playing in Atl.
I am obsessed with this dynamic duo.
They define the word musician. They're simply incredible with inspirational, powerful lyrics and producers of seriously quality music. Check them out here.
Then, let these words sink it. Its what i need to be reminded of today and catch a glimpse of the concert I saw tonight.
This venue has some more great shows planned, so if you're in the Atlanta area, work one in. Going to concerts of singer/songwriters and fantastic musicians is certainly one of my favorite things to do and I cant wait to be rich so I can go see all my loves.
What a fantastic day from start to finish!

"Yesterday, when you were young, everything you needed done was done was done for you.

Now, you do it on your own, but you find that you're all alone. What can you do?

Walk on, walk on. Cause you can't go back now.

You know there will be days when you're so tired that you can't take another step.

The night will have no stars and you'll think you've gone as far as you'll ever get.

But, you. and me. Walk on, walk on.

Go where you wanna go.
                    Be what you wanna be.
                               If you ever turn around, you'll see me.

I can't really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else.

But in the end, the only steps that matter 

are the ones you take all by yourself."

-The Weepies, Can't Go Back Now