for whatever reason, i cannot stop listening to this song. its on repeat. and i'm hanging on these phrases in particular. i think Joey Ryan is wonderful so check him out. He was just at WorkPlay and I am SO sad that I missed him. Anyways, I'll let the lyrics speak for themselves and speak to you untainted.
"well, i think i'm gonna work construction. just to make something of myself.
i can't live off these childhood trophies on my shelf.
i wanna get my hands dirty. i wanna feel the burning in my legs.
i want more than a receipt for what i paid.
because everybody loves something new. cause you can open it and plug it in.
and it feels like a good night's sleep, like the girl you like paid you a complement.
they can keep the change and they can keep it coming; they can talk to who's listening, but i'm still looking for something a little more permanent.
I'm still looking for something that I can die with.
cause everything i've ever owned, got dusty and old. so i threw it out just to make myself some room.
if my luck is running out, please don't let it be so with love. it's been a long year but i'm not giving up. even if i lay 10 million bricks and they break through the summer haze, someone will come around and bull doze 'em down someday."
-Joey Ryan, Permanent
Showing posts with label walls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label walls. Show all posts
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
but they did and so did i that day
As a very typical me move, I told a boy in high school before we ever started dating that this song, Tiny Vessels by Death Cab for Cutie haunted me. I told him that I refused for us to have some meaningless, friends with benefits relationship that ended up in one of us hurt and identifying with these lyrics' story that disturbed me. In a mood for the depressing yet deep music unique to Death Cab on my long drive a few days ago, something compelled me not to skip this song, but to listen to it instead. Immediately the first line grabbed my attention and I ended up listening to it in its entirety several times. When the aha moment came, I thought, 'I might just cry over this.' Shortly after this thought as I allowed the words to slowly fill my entire body, an unexpected emotion came. Oddly, I was excited, because a good cry has been a long time coming. When tears caught behind my eyes and refused to formulate and fall, I was frustrated.
Instead, this "aha moment" resulted in me just being completely shocked and amazed at myself. Almost like I couldnt think about the girl from high school who so boldly stated no boy would ever listen to Tiny Vessels and think of her simultaneously contrasted against the girl who woke up and realized that's indeed without a doubt, precisely what had happened. Miraculously, I managed to walk away unscathed. I suppose this added to the shock of the enlightened moment. One would think such a realization would result in tears. Now that its 2 am, I am returning to these thoughts to test their clarity. But I suppose that if you build a home in your heart with rotten wood that decayed from the start, then you can't find nothing at all if there was nothing there all along (Crooked Teeth, DCFC). So in attempts of not plastering intricacies of what belongs in my journal on my blog, I'll leave you with the lyrics and the warning that, you just never know when life will sneak up on you and a wall you thought was cemented into place had begun to crumble when it wasn't so well maintained. Which ultimately, may not be a bad thing at all.
"this is the moment that you know that you told her that you loved her, but you dont. you touch her skin and then you think, 'yeah she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me.' i wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking as we moved together in the dark. all the friends that i was telling, all the playful misspellings, every bite i gave that left a mark. and tiny vessels oozed into your neck and formed the bruises that you said you didn't want to fade. but they did and so did i that day.
all i see are dark, grey clouds in the distance moving closer with every hour. so when you ask, 'is something wrong?' i think, 'you're damn right there is. but we can't talk about it now. no, we can't talk about it now.' So one last touch, and then we'll go. and we'll pretend it meant something so much more. but it was vile. and it was cheap. and you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me. yeah, you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me." -Death Cab for Cutie, Tiny Vessels
Instead, this "aha moment" resulted in me just being completely shocked and amazed at myself. Almost like I couldnt think about the girl from high school who so boldly stated no boy would ever listen to Tiny Vessels and think of her simultaneously contrasted against the girl who woke up and realized that's indeed without a doubt, precisely what had happened. Miraculously, I managed to walk away unscathed. I suppose this added to the shock of the enlightened moment. One would think such a realization would result in tears. Now that its 2 am, I am returning to these thoughts to test their clarity. But I suppose that if you build a home in your heart with rotten wood that decayed from the start, then you can't find nothing at all if there was nothing there all along (Crooked Teeth, DCFC). So in attempts of not plastering intricacies of what belongs in my journal on my blog, I'll leave you with the lyrics and the warning that, you just never know when life will sneak up on you and a wall you thought was cemented into place had begun to crumble when it wasn't so well maintained. Which ultimately, may not be a bad thing at all.
"this is the moment that you know that you told her that you loved her, but you dont. you touch her skin and then you think, 'yeah she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me.' i wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking as we moved together in the dark. all the friends that i was telling, all the playful misspellings, every bite i gave that left a mark. and tiny vessels oozed into your neck and formed the bruises that you said you didn't want to fade. but they did and so did i that day.
all i see are dark, grey clouds in the distance moving closer with every hour. so when you ask, 'is something wrong?' i think, 'you're damn right there is. but we can't talk about it now. no, we can't talk about it now.' So one last touch, and then we'll go. and we'll pretend it meant something so much more. but it was vile. and it was cheap. and you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me. yeah, you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me." -Death Cab for Cutie, Tiny Vessels
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